Wednesday, September 22, 2010


I read an amazing post on what is now one of my new favorite blogs. (And I just found it today!) In it, the author challenges us, "What if we could feel beautiful without any accessories or creams or products?"

When I silence MY inner critic, usually the best I can say is, "Not bad." I can't quite seem to muster, "You look great!" or "You are beautiful!" just "not bad". And to even say that, I have to have all of my facial products, make up and hair done and dressed in a new-ish outfit.

Before I have all that done, I seem to say, "Ug." A lot.

I have no idea, of course, whether the author is married or single and how old she is. She asserts, "I would like to be known for the brightness of my mind, the kindness of my heart." True that. But I also want my husband to want me. Seriously.

I often look in the mirror and wonder how he can stand the sight of me. And I think, if only I lose 50 more pounds, get a tummy tuck, get an arm tuck (you know remove those flappy parts attached to your upper arm), um, whiten my teeth, get microdermabrasion and... Well, that might do it. He'll really, really want me if I can do that.

I've looked into getting a tummy tuck. It's $10,000. I don't have $10,000. So then I plan how I can get $10,000. (Hint: It always takes a lot of time.) By the time I figure out how old I'll be before I can burn $10,000 on a tummy tuck, I can see plainly the futility in this logic.

And I'll probably never have $10,000 to spend on something that vain and fleeting.

So I'll work at it. As the author says, "Someone should love me the way I am and that someone should be me."

1 comment:

dh said...

I will confess that last night I wasted some time looking at 'mom job' surgeons and fantasizing about the end result. There are lots of critics who say we should be happy with our bodies and the badges of honor they carry from birthing and nursing children. I would love to agree with that train of thought, however, perhaps my selfishness drives me to the point of thinking (if not saying out loud) that I don't care what commercial standards say, I would do it in a heartbeat if only to appease my own personal insecurities and feel like a wife-a girlfriend...